August 2010

hi girls, nothing much to report. Having a hard day :(
Could use some outsider perspective, so if you dont want to hear half my life story just skip this post

Ok so growing up my brother and i were really close. He's seven years older than me (so currently 34) our parents split up when i was 8 and my brother blames every little problem he's ever had on the fact mum ask dad to leave (to end the constant fighting)
We'd always do stuff together as i was growing up, he was a big kid, big on games, races remote control cars and that...
Then i got my first serious boyfriend (now my fiance) when i was about 19 and i saw him a little less, but he still included both of us in things. Then i got pregnant... My boyfriend and id broken up but were still living together, and i wasnt coping well. My brother's long term girlfriend was like my sister and i ask her to help me out and take me to the dr so i could confirm i was pregnant.
She agreed, and i told her i was (thought this would be hard to hear as she'd been with my brother 10 years and he wasnt ever going to have kids coz they were spawn of the devil) and ask her if she could keep it from my brother while i got my head together an figured out what i was going to do. she agreed. I told her if it was ever a problem (keeping it from him) to tell me and id go tell him myself. I didnt want to cause problems
(In retrospect i realise what i ask was a shitty thing to make anyone do. wish i hadnt)
Anyway, time flew by, my boyfriend and i patched things up and decided to have the baby together and when we got to the safe stage (so about 8 weeks after i found out) i told my parents and my brother. saved him for last coz i knew he'd take it badly but did them all in one day.
When we got there he already knew, she'd told him (not sure when she told him) He was nice to our faces, ask why i didnt tell him and i said coz i knew it'd be hard to hear and i wanted to make sure we didnt miscarry or something (i'd had one before but he didnt know and i didnt tell him) He shook my boyfriends hand, said he was glad i was with him etc. We left, and the next day i got a text message from my brother saying i was trying to split him and his girlfriend up, that i was only having a baby because im lazy and always have been and i dont want to work (id been working since i turned 16) that i was going to screw up my child the way our parents screwed us up, that my boyfriend was a dropkick (pretty much) and that we deserved each other.

I was devastated. We've hardly spoken since, he didnt come see me in hospital when i had my son, when i saw him at my dads and i had the baby, he turned and left, didnt even look at my son.

That was 5 years ago. Since then i get a text message on my birthday and at xmas. He got married a few years ago and said he sent me a message to invite me but it never turned up. (he got married in my dads backyard, not a fan of marriage either. only had dad there) Now he's expecting a baby in a few months (not only did he decide to have a child but he paid to do it through IVF) and I'm planning my wedding in October.

For the first time ever he sent a present for my son with my dad at xmas. I feel like he's trying to say he's sorry without saying it.
But my real problem is the wedding. I want him there. I cant help it, i dont hold a grudge over what he said even if im still a little mad about it, but my fiance does hold a grudge. He's still angry and says he would knock him out if he came anywhere near him.
So i need some advice.

I feel like i'll regret not inviting him, but im not sure if its worth the problems it would cause. I doubt seeing me get married would be a big thing to my brother but he's my only family apart from my parents. My fiance isnt big on family so nothing i say can make him understand why i feel like that.

It would cause alot of trouble between me and my fiance, its the only thing we fight about :(
Im so torn and confused and no matter how many times i tell myself that my brothers little attempts at subtle apology arent enough i know he's trying in his own way. Even i' not sure if its enough.
*sigh*
Sorry for unloading on your girls, im hoping someone can give me a little perspective?
Sorry for the OffTopic

These bands are so random, everyone has a different experience don't they. I struggle a bit with bread but can eat a subway roll. And i'm ok with bread if its toasted too. I just had about six hot chips for lunch though and feel as if i have an axe in my chest...aarrrgghhhhh...

Glad you're feeling better Cate but sorry to hear about your daughter and friends. They are so contagious those bugs. Good luck on your flight though, i hope it doesn't alter your band too much. Tell us how it goes. Its great that your hubby is noticing..must be big changes going on.
Yes, i'm feeling much better Cate. I think the anemia is nearly gone. My blood count isn't up to where it should be but its so much better than when i felt nearly dead.

LOL Fe, i can't count the times i've dropped a kilo and the put it on! Like a yoyo!

God my chest hurts!!!!! My own silly fault.... lol

emeraldrain wrote:

kirsten, dont forget how much sugar alcoholic drinks have! Lots of calories!
Glad to hear everyone is feeling a little better :)
Debs: you were right, i dropped a kilo, but i didnt update in here when i put it on so we'll just ignore this one ;p

fe xx

Hi Fe,

I know, I know! Having no kahaula in the house is the best option for me!

kirsten, dont forget how much sugar alcoholic drinks have! Lots of calories!
Glad to hear everyone is feeling a little better :)
Debs: you were right, i dropped a kilo, but i didnt update in here when i put it on so we'll just ignore this one ;p

fe xx

Hi all,

Debs, the adjustment is good I guess. I definetly have more restriction, but it's funny how each day is different. I haven't been hungry til about 11am for the past 2 mornings but was hungry this morning by 8.30. Portion sizes are smaller for sure, last nights dinner was terrible, I had left over beef and vegie stew and I attempted to eat it with a piece of multigrain bread, (smack forehead now) well, 1/2 peice of bread and 4 mouthfulls later and I was praying to the porcelin god! I think any bread is going to be a problem as I am eating a peice right now and just over 1/2 of it and I have to stop. But at lunch I had 6 cruskets with cottage cheese, cucumber & tomato. I do hope I start to lose some serious weight now. The drinking and band restriction is a strange one, maybe I should start a thread for it. I do love a drink and when I have my fav in the house I tend to have 1-3 a night til it's gone. mmm kahalua, pathetic I know, lol. I guess that would be my biggest weekness. Anyway I'm ranbling now. I hope your getting better Debs. Cate, I was on a flight recently and I didn't have any increased restriction, it will really depend on how many little pockets of air are in your band.

Hope your all good

Finally over the bug...the weight has dropped off in the last week - over 2.5 kgs YEAH.....but the visitors and my daughter have all got it ( the bug)........someone said it was going around.........
Deb how are you feeeling now, hope really really on the mend......good also about the loss in weight .......
I am having really great restriction - 1/2 cup is really about it, fluid type foods a little better, those cup of soups are great, really enjoy the chicken, corn and noddle ones.....did a beef slow cooker dinner last night, did struggle with the meat ( and it was so soft) but vegies were lovely........
Having my first flying experience today since banding, someone said it ( the band) can run tight whilst flying......interesting....
My hubby said last night that he now can see areas of my body that look different, like my shin bone is now visible in my leg ( i had really really large legs), roll of fat at my ankles has gone ( that was getting embarrassing, having a spare tyre at your angles!!!!)...lots of lose skin on the inside of my thighs, and............under my arms - that is awful - like bat wings.......starting to feel good about the weight loss, it has been slow, but at least it is happening................

Happy Sunday all xoxoxoxo

Cate

HI Kirsten, how you feeling with the extra half a ml? I've not heard of the alcohol thing, i barely drink either...but alcohol is a relaxant so maybe its having that effect? Strange your M.O.L is opposite. Bands are an enigma! LOL

Cate that rotten gastro is still going on? You poor thing! I wonder how long it will last? Hopefully not long now. Hope your hubby is feeling better soon too. I lost weight too with my hemolytic anemia but now its going back on again...sob...hopefully i won't put it all on, i think i lost about 4kgs in three weeks. Better than the band! lol
Feel better soon mate.

debs

Day 3 - This poo and spew bug has still got hold..upside...the weight is coming off....lol
Still difficult to eat, the last thing I ate before I started the vomiting was sago, so now, cannot look at the stuff - how terrible is that, sago I loved.........had a cup of soup and 2 tablespoons of spag bols yesterday...did try breakky this morning but brought it up, have to fly to Sydney sunday for work, hope it has gone by then.....poor hubby looks like death warmed up........we have visitors and they are ok ( touch wood) and our daughter is ok....weird.......
Hope every one else is ok.......just glad it is friday...YEAH......

Cate xoxoxo

Kirsten, I rarely drink, so cannot make a comment....re your weight, you must be below 100kgs...that is grand, yes our weight loss is slow, but when I look back I did not put it on at a fast rate, it was a steady process, so I suppose coming off will be the same, but at least we are losing it ( sometimes I think in more ways than one...LOL) to some degree......

Cate xoxoxo

Saw the doc today. Another .5ml put in. Hopefully that will be the magic spot hey. I was weighed of course and theres a discrepancy between his scales and mine (smiles & rolls eyes), his say I'm heavier but I'm going with mine lol. Whats 1kg when I've so many to lose anyway.

I mentioned this to the doc, but If I'm drinking alcohol I can have a fairly large meal. I don't mean drinking with my food, but if I've had a few before dinner, I don't seem to have any great restriction. Has anyone else had this? The mother inlaw is opposite, and if she has a glass of red she generally can't have dinner. The doc hasn't heard of this. What about everyone else?

Congrats on the lose Cate. I hope the gastro passes quickly.

Hope all is well for everyone

Updated:

25/8/10 Fe (emeraldrain) Age: 26 H 167cm SW: 122 CW: 112.4 GW: 80kg TL: 9.6kg (21/02/11)

13/8/10 Cate (catton54) Age:56 H:156cm BMI:41 :126.9kg CW: 100.6kg GW:75kg TL:26.3kg (10/03/11)

17/8/10 debs Age:37 H:167cm, SW:116kg, CW:96kg, GW:80kg TL:19kg (21/02/11)

25/08/2010 Kirsten Age:32 SW:114kgs CW:97.5 GW: 75kgs TL:16.5kgs (20/02/11)

Thanks Deb....still have the bug..it is gastro, gandkids came here with it.....OMG, would not wish it on your worse enermy.......
The cholesterol thing is strange, but it is in your genes he said, I suppose that explains why when I was very young I had my gall out and I was full of stones, that where 100% cholesterol, I was told then my body ( liver) was making it....and I was thin then.....my whole family have had gall problems...interesting.....
Well to the weight - 1kg down this week, I would say partly thanks to the gastro bug.......

Cate xoxoxo

Oh cate you poor thing! Maybe the illness has caused the chucking and the 30 second thing will work again when you're over it. You and your poor hubby, it sounds awful! I hope you're feeling better soon.
Fancy your body making its own cholesterol? I've not heard that before but it must be possible if doc says so. How strange! I've know a couple of anorexics over the years and they ate far less than a bandit and their cholesterol was fine. I wonder what makes some people make it in excess while others don't? The body is so strange...my mum is overweight and her cholesterol has been low her whole life (slightly below normal levels) and when she put on a heap of weight her cholesterol never went up. Its such a mystery isn't it. Very interesting! I do hope you start to feel better soon and this sickness goes away. Is it the flu? Sip chicken soup and orange juice and gets lots of rest if you can. Hydration is so important.
Thinking of you,
debs

Just got the lomital...thank god you can get it over the counter.....

I did say that the chucking had started again...well bloody hell, 3am this morning, both hubby and I...both ends.....it is a terrible bug especially with a lap band......of cause hubby is in bed, whilst I still try and work, thank god at home....my muscles are so sore and joints feel like they are on fire
Deb since lossing the weight my cholesterol has gone up..lots.....nearly doubled.....my body is making it......

i think sago = tapioca...

Great news about blood pressure cate can you tell me what sago is too pretty please :)

That is great news Cate. I can't wait for that to happen to me. My bp is always high and i've been on meds for it for a few years...they lower it to a degree. Am also on cholesterol pills...i was hoping with an almost 20kg weight drop it would make a difference, not yet though. Can't wait to get off some of these meds.
Well done on the BP...cholesterol will drop soon i'm sure. Sorry you're being sick again...i thought the 30 second thing might be the answer... does it still work at all?
debs
ps can i ask what sago is? (ignore this if you've answered it previously.)

Hi Cate

Great news about Blood Pressure - you will be off your meds soon. Not good about Cholestrol - god we cannot win can we.

lol
Westy

Just back from my local gp...BP is very normal now - 104/64, after years of extreme high readings, such great news, but my cholesterol is very high 9...how can this be, eat hardly any food, no fatty stuff, he said my body is making it, now on cholesterole meds.....bloody hell, cannot win.....
Chucking up has returned, so back to soft foods, just to let it settle - sago is wonderful......just love it......

Cate xoxoxoxo

LOL must have got you confused with another post, sorry. Or maybe i DO know something that you don't know...(insert evil laughter in here :)
debs

hopefully thanks deb, i havent lost anything yet, i've put on ;p you musta misread. maybe you know something i dont :)

YEAAAAAH for Ella....xoxoxoxo

Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! I finally broke my plateau!!!! I've only been stuck for about 2 months....just goes to show what a little fill can do for you!

So the 30 second thing seems to be working? That's awesome guys. I tend to take a while between mouthfulls anyway, but i don't think its been as long as 30 seconds. I'll have to try it too...i just forget whenever i have food in front of me! LOL
I'm so glad you might have cracked the throwing up thing Cate...i've been worried for months about you dealing with that. I hope this is the answer...you must feel so relieved!

Welcome back Kirsten...wasn't that heatwave shocking! (we had it in NSW too )
And congrats on your loss fe!
debs